tessa redel
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Motherhood - An Open apology to all moms.

3/12/2015

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From the heart of a mother -

I would like to take a much-needed minute and say I am sorry to moms everywhere of all ages, backgrounds, and ethnicities. I am sorry to moms who stay at home, moms who work, moms who breastfeed, moms who bottle feed, moms that birth babies in hospitals, moms who birth babies in pools, to moms who have babies at 19 and to moms who have babies at 40. I am apologizing to moms who vaccinate and moms who don’t, moms who co-sleep and moms that have never slept in the same bed as their child. I am saying sorry to moms who homeschool and to moms who send their kids to public schools. Sorry to moms who only give their kids organic food and to moms who give their kids canned peaches, to the moms that have kids sleeping through the night and to the moms who haven't slept in years, moms who use essential oils and to the moms who use doctors. I am sorry to the moms who have kids potty trained by age 1 and to the moms who are still changing diapers at age 5, to the moms who only use cloth diapers and to the moms who use 12 Pampers a day, to the moms who spank and moms that redirect with positive reinforcement. I’m saying sorry to moms everywhere. I am sorry for ever thinking a critical thought or ever passing a judgmental comment. 

I think we have enough criticism to last ourselves a lifetime and then some. Not to mention the ridiculous amount of self-criticism we give to our own mothering. It’s hard work being a mom and, of course, it’s also the most rewarding job. However, the last thing a mom needs are other moms tearing down. What if we stopped the “us” verse “them” mentality and become the strongest unified “WE” this generation has ever seen? What if when a mom opens up about struggling with… (fill in the blank) she is greeted with:

“Hey, I’ve been there before and you are doing a great job!” and then maybe taking it one step further and following it up with a phone call or an encouraging text?

What if instead of having to hide behind the facade of perfect parenting we emerged ourselves into a loving, GRACE filled village of moms who are genuinely for one another? This may sound so simple. And simple, I assure you it is NOT. 

This takes a daily surrender and an hourly reminder that if not for the loving kindness and grace extended to us by our own heavenly Father we would all be lost and astray. But because He loved us with an unending love we are safe to fail and to start again.

It takes us guarding our minds and our….. mouths, it takes us all not thinking so highly of ourselves but stooping low to serve and wash each other’s feet. It takes lots of forgiveness… forgiveness for when we aren't so kind and even forgiveness extended to ourselves. Perfection is a fleeting endeavor that will only leave us bitter and frustrated. 

It takes us realizing that our own insecurities play into how we hear other women and how we interact with each other.

Lastly, it takes the understanding that the child or children we’ve been entrusted with are not ours, but belong to the Lord. We are but stewards of His children. Being a mom is not a right it’s a privilege. 

So all this to say… I am sorry. I am sorry for not responding with grace or responding out of my own personal insecurities. I’ve only been a mother for a whopping 20 months; I most definitely haven’t learned everything. But what I have learned is that I need grace and I need to GIVE grace. I want to be a part of the loving village of gracious moms that are truly FOR one another and never against. 


Picture









Proof that real life happens and no mom is perfect! 

1 Comment

    Tessa.

    I am no expert on any topic. I am writing just to share in my journey of learning to abide in my Maker. 
     I am
    married to my best friend. We are church planters. I have a sweet little girl, a dashing baby boy, and a less than amused french bulldog. Jesus is everything; the true center of it all.
    I am not the best with grammar - fair warning... I've been known to make up words...words that are superbulously intregular.  

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